Gay.
Curious?
Try Fruity Snacks,
the new candy from Kellogg's.
Gay.
Everything about Fruity Snacks is queer. It's has a flamer name, bright pink packaging, and it packs just the right nutritional balance to make you hungry for homosexual sex.
Let's take a look at each of the individual ingredients:
| Ingredient | Orientation | Function(s) | Health Considerations |
| Corn Syrup | Gay. | Sweetener. | GMO, refined sugar. |
| Sugar | Bisexual. | Sweetener. | GMO, refined sugar. |
| Grape Juice Concentrate | Bi-curious. | Sweetener. | Refined sugar. |
| Modified Cornstarch | Gay. | Binding agent. | GMO. |
| Gelatin | Gay. | Adds elasticity and an endless shelf life. | Not kosher. |
| Citric Acid | Bi-curious. | Adds flavor. | Legit. |
| Corn Starch | Bi-curious. | Binding agent. | GMO. |
| Ascorbic Acid | Gay. | This is Vitamin C. | Legit. |
| Artificial Flavor | Bisexual. | Tricks brain into perceiving freshness. | Mild carcinogen. |
| Hydrogenated Coconut Oil | Gay. | Adds to soft texture. | Poisonous to humans. |
| Strawberry Juice Concentrate | Bi-curious. | Sweetener. | Refined sugar. |
| Red #40 | Gay. | Conceals actual color of food. | Mild carcinogen. |
| Carnauba Wax | Gay. | Formulation aid, release agent, surface finishing agent. | No adverse effect, just makes you gay. |
Conclusions
Health: 0 Gayness: 10
Having studied only the one candy so far, I'm fairly certain this is the most flamboyantly gay candy in the history of the planet. It could prove a very useful tool for actors preparing for gay roles, or for curious types in general. Whatever your reasons, a pack of Fruity Snacks promises to take you to the pink team faster than you can say, "Ooooh! Fruity Snacks! Fabulous!"
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