Celebrities That Look Like Animals

And by celebrities, I really mean celebrity since I'll only be reviewing one case. Today I'd like you to consider the question of whether Tony Robbins is, in fact, a horse? I'd say so. He looks like a horse. He sounds like a horse. I'd say...he's a horse.


A horse.

Do you think he's a horse? If you didn't not say no, you're wrong.

Tony Robbins talks endlessly, often clearly believing he's saying something though anyone with a good head on his/her shoulders can see otherwise. A few obvious signs of scammery:

1. He's given quite a few firewalking seminars. This practice is 100% bullshit. It's not that complicated. The soles of human feet don't conduct heat well. How much money is it worth to you to understand this very, very simple concept?

2. His "events" are entirely too expensive to be helping anyone. No group psychology is worth a $2,500 weekend. You can't buy meaningful knowledge of yourself anyway.

3. The music on the background of his website is detestable. Why can't everyone stop with the fucking autoplay? If it's not a web page about music, there's really no excuse for it. Just like the rest of his schtick, the music is upbeat and emotion-stirring, but doesn't go anywhere.

4. From what I've read, his groups involve cult techniques such as repetitive jumping up and down or chanting, a charismatic man churning out psychobabble about spirituality and change, and long days with scant food breaks.

5. I suspect that paying for a life-changing experience is a dangerous psychological commitment. If you go to a comedy club, you're far more apt to laugh than if the comedian were just a guy performing on a street corner. Likewise, when you go to a seminar about "turning your life around," you're likely to feel like you have changed the direction of your life whether the techniques practiced have any long-term value, or not. Admitting that you're not the center of the universe can have a powerful humbling effect that some of these attendees will probably experience (since they'll experience Tony Robbins as the center of the universe), but you can experience humility without paying for it. And you're not buying an experience unique to you. It's just a carefully constructed manipulation. What he's selling is organized brainwashing, and, at $2,500 for three days, it's a pretty expensive brand.

In conclusion,

Tony Robbins = Horse.
 
 
Man, I'm solving math problems left and right these days.

 

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