Vagina! Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!

Still comfortable? What the hell is it about this word that makes people cringe? Let's try these...

cunt, twat, vadge, twelge, futz, clam, vent, snatch, trap, slot, gap, cladge, claff, clodge, clowt, punce, punse, purse, quid, quiff, bliff, bank, bits, moot, pooz, cloth, fur, kut, fuzz, hive, clit, moss, figa, till, mill, lawn, poe, grin, pond, blit, hee, whelk, hone, zosh, pot, pit, wame, ware, scat, lodge, baz, bush, whim, wools, home, wig, smoo, knish, rug, mat, door, goal, fern, pussy, beehive, giner, playpen, keyhole, muffet, furrow, choca, chocha, Lili, lotus, cavern, joxy, garage, yeast-mill, poke-hole, pit mouth, toolshed, sanctum, south pole, money-pot, chin rest, snapper, man trap, funny bit, bush pie, cockpit, cockshire, puss-puss, pum-pum, pundu, yoni, oven, gutter, black ring, fuck fur, fuck flaps, fuzzies, garden gates, front garden, Full lips, nick-nack, tit-mouse, tee-tee, teazie, jointess, tivy, leg beard, grotto, ho cake, hog-eye, lapland, jelly cave, wicket, winker, X-box, ya-ya, big V, sugar bush, puka, red ace, tuna, taco, tun-tun, chuftie, wrinkle, bushy, wallet, towdie, toy shop, tram lines, kettle, snutchie, entoma, oat bin, blivvet, trinket, shmoya, snippet, vacuum, biffon, twitchet, twitter, fireplace, knick-knack, growler, twachel, whim-wham, womfer, slit bit, delta, toot toot, spadger, squeeky, magnet, nasty, tastebud, biter, pranny, nookie, nooker, nook-nook, poozie, chooch, chonch, crooney, cunker, gaper, cooter, tenuc, fiddle, Jemima, Vah-jay-jay, velvet love-canal, portal of Venus, columns of Venus, Venus' mound, Venus' glove, Venus' cell, Venus' honeypot, Venus' mark, Venus' secret cell, organ grinder, pudendal inlet, tufted treasure, treasure box, receiving chamber, parlor room, papaya, pencil-sharpener, pit of darkness, skin chimney, soft furry mound of love, golden mound, treasury, promised land, sexual slit, middle eye, baby chute, sperm canal, sperm-sucker, spunk-pot, cream jug, best/worst part, belly entrance, belly bristles, cod cove, fillet o' fish, fish mitten, fish pond, peach-fish, fish lips, fish city, bit of fish, cock alley, cock-holder, cock hotel, cock hall, cock-pit, Shooter's Hill, todger toaster, banger hanger, jam donut, baby-factory, stink well, slitted underbelly, beaver tail, three-legged beaver, inland passage, interlabial slit, lower kisser, cockwash, flesh wallet, fur chalice, snapping turtle, gentle trap, furry mongoose, fuzzy-muzzy, bearskin, forest bush, Bushy Park, Brillo pad, genital chamber, genital hiatus, genital slit, golden gate, ivory gate, palace gates, gate of life, gate of horn, gut entrance, button groove, female netherland, crack of heaven, fascinating furpiece, dark paradise, crack a teacup, panty pudding, cradle, concern, croupade, crowbar, crown and feathers, cunt carpet, cuntocks, curly hairs, curls, curlies, curtain drop, cylinder, Cyprian strait, Cupid's cave, Cupid's hotel, Cupid's corner, Cupid's cloister, cunnus, cunny-skin, cunnicle, cuntkin, cunnikin, cunny warren, crinkum-crankum, crevice, cunt lips, cunt curtain, beef curtains, beef jibber, ox drapes, turkey curtains, milk can, milk pan, milk jug, a bit of mutton, meat trap, catmeat, catty-cat, kitten's ear, cat house, cat flaps, black cat with its throat cut, pussycat, tender trap, pussy beard, pussy cover, coal scuttle, bag of tricks, lucky bag, shake bag, tool chest, wonderland, ha'penny, female cock, front bum, front passage, front attic, front entrance, front room, front parlor, front window, front door, blind entrance, blind alley, a bit of flat, vicious circle, whisker biscuit, whisker pot, pink bits, pink flaps, pink velvet sausage wallet, pink eye, Pink Palace in the Black Forest, black badger, black bess, black mouth, black hole, passion hole, pit hole, gully hole, holy-of-holies, second hole from the back of the neck, funk hole, heaven's porthole, bacon hole, dirty hole, hole to hide it in, hole of content, mouse's hole, stink hole, smell-hole, privy hole, boy hole, manhole, queen of holes, joy hole, joy box, squeeze box, money box, jelly box, grease box, black box, furry letterbox, beef box, fish-box, tender box, snatch-box, rag box, tinderbox, love box, love organ, garden of love, love channel, love flesh, lamp of love, love's fountain, love's paradise, love's harbour, love's pavillion, love sheath, love canal, love chamber, portal of love, valley of love, love bud, love button, lovely flower, altar of love, altar of pleasure, prawn of pleasure, mine of pleasure, palace of pleasure, aperture of bliss, clover field, cloven spot, love cleft, bawdy cleft, cleft underside, hefty clefty, cave of harmony, butcher's shop, butcher's window, Irish fortune, Irish pasture, Bermuda triangle, Elysian Fields, Jerusalem artichoke, Jacob's ladder, Dutch sea wife, Temple of Virginity, Holiday Inn, Cambridge punt, Charley Hunt, (Sir) Anthony Blunt, aunt Annie, aunt Maria, aunt Mary, little Mary, Mary Jane, mystic grotto, bath of birth, twat fuzz, twat rug, twat mat, controlling part, cockchafer, cock-chafer, fly-trap, flytrap, fly-catcher, oyster-catcher, male catcher, man catcher, juicy sewer, snatch thatch, snatch patch, cheese factory, fuzzy cup, fuzzy-bunny, lower mouth, mouth of nature, mouth that cannot bite, mute mouth, nether lips, nether mouth, melting pot, honey pie, yum-yum cake, cunt pie, strawberry patch, rubyfruit, sugar basin, sugared diamond, gluepot, lobster pot, honey pot, joy spot, cherry-stuffing, cherry pit, cherry pudding, satin doll, sardine can, satchel, red snapper, rest-and-be-thankful, warmest place, warm place, warm fuzzy, inner self, virgin treasure, virginal membrane, pleasure place, pleasure grounds, sensitive spot, garden hedge, garden of pleasure, gentleman's pleasure garden, joy-furrow, Mount Joy, joy buzzer, center of joy, bearded leisure center, central cut, center spot, central office, center of bliss, center of desire, velvet tunnel, polly-nussy, poontenanny, pocketbook, power U, premises, spice of life, hairy oracle, hairy lasso, hairy magnet, rocket socket, cachanca, conchita, chochito, chocho gordo, la belle chose, glamity, home sweet home, orgasm chasm, open wound, open well, living fountain, little kitten, lipped underside, lipped pudendal entree, little monkey, lady flower, lady star, eel-skinner, zebra fanny, life's dainty, jewel case, needle-book, mousetrap, serpent socket, staff-breaker, secret works, bower of bliss, bloomer pudding, Bluebeard's closet, halfpenny, hanging basket, happy hunting grounds, harbour of hope, bear trapper's hat, bat's wings, main avenue, lowlands, blood flaps, passion flaps, junioress, seed plot, sensible part, prick-holder, pretty-pretty, privy chose, private passages, vagetarian, parsley patch, parsley bed, playing field, diddly pout, expressive button, female goodies, squelchy monkey, snackbar, sink of solitude, slice of life, the standing room for one, fresh axe wound in a bears back, hairy axe wound, vertical axe wound with sideburns, vertical bacon baguette, vertical bacon sandwich, bearded taco, bacon strips, bacon rind, bacon sandwich, bacon bomb doors, middle cut, middle kingdom, peculiar river, bilabial trump card, essentials, name-it-not, nameless, ineffable, undeniable, you-know-what, whatchamacallit, nonesuch, thingumabob, thingamy, that there, thatched house (under the hill), circulus vitiosus, in vaginam, female vulvar apparatus, interlabial sanctum muliebre, interlabial sanctum, oracular portcullis, interlabial hiatus, hymeneal waterfall, pudendal sanctum, poor man's blessing.

I know you didn't read them all.

Let me assure you that:

1. All of the preceding terms reflect the views of their collector and author, me. Especially the offensive stuff and the ones I don't even understand. 
2. Given the number of women in the world, there are probably around 3 billion words that were omitted. 
3. It's a body part, fully worthy of worship but not of the oh-shit-you-can't-say-that God-fearing type. Chill the fudge out; it isn't as though I said fuck.

Michael Bolton and Lenny Bruce together prove that sometimes singing is the lowest form, and profanity the highest form, of communication.

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